Overly Positive

If you ever wanted to get a slice of what people on the Internet like to say, look no further than the peanut gallery of a Youtube video. Those of you not in the know require very little explanation – Youtube videos have a comments section in which users can leave impressions of whatever they’re viewing at the time, whether that is a movie trailer, a tv show clip, or a clip appropriately titled “Toddler road rage”.

There are some really interesting comments on a YouTube video. Some are thoughtful ideas and expressions. Of course, once you put those to the side (comprising a grand total of perhaps 1 comment per video), you get arguments, one-liners from wanna be comedians, Chuck Norris jokes, and even chain letter SPAM. I have to say you should stay away from the comment that tells you not to read it that informs you that you will soon die, as it makes for a real downer the rest of the day, you know?

I do have to say, I have to question some of these people that post this stuff. Sure, it might be appropriate in a fart video to basically talk like you have diarrhea coming out of your mouth, but I honestly fail to understand how it is works everywhere else. People should realize that for every 10 seconds they spend typing “lol i’d hit it” to a “Fat Girl Falls Down Stairs” video, that’s 10 seconds getting more important things done. So once again, I’ve got a bulleted list, just for you, YouTube peanut gallery.

• Take an alcoholic shot – I mean, c’mon – posting that particularly insightful comment to say “yo bitches first comment” means you’re killing some brain cells. If you’re going to do that, you might as well do it with more efficiency. So feel free to crack open your parents’ bottle of vodka and take a swig. it’s a real killer.
• Post your own video – Surely you can join the many ranks of YouTube yourself by putting up your own quality video with poor sound, the voice of a 13-year old with anger management issues, and a $15 webcam. And for attention whoring, which is the absolutely legitimate and not at all pathetic reason why you’re putting up your comments, it’s much, much more efficient.
• Watch another awesome video – if you’re wasting time with typing out something that your grade school grammar teacher would weep over, then you can waste that time checking out yet another original example of a YouTube video. Hey, let’s face it – no matter how someone films it, there’s always something hilarious about someone singing Backstreet Boys. Especially when it’s the Backstreet Boys singing.
• Forward the video to friends – It’s a certainty that your friends (those of them that actually have jobs, of course) aren’t going to get annoyed or in trouble with their boss if you just forward on the video link to them. If you’re commenting, you’re wasting time used to share a mildly humorous video that will offend at least one person who you talk with regularly. So fire up the forward button on “Firecracker Takes Off Kid’s Arm”, because your friends are just itching to stop their productivity for 5 minutes.

Of course, there are entirely appropriate places to put comments – like this blog, for example, which gets almost none. I’ve got no problems feigning a caring tone for your amazingly insightful “lol u suk” feedback.