Overly Positive

Lots of things that are one thing for a normal person are completely different whenit comes to being a geek.

Being sick is one of these.

Now normally you’d think that this is a universally accepted thing, this being physically ill. After all, no matter how many techie devices you have or how many ways you know how to install an OS, being sick feels the same no matter who you are. You get the same head cold, the same stuffiness, and the same “bleh” feeling.

But not to worry – if you’re among the geek crowd and you get ill, it’s actually not that bad. Sure, you probably feel like puking up your guts and what you had for breakfast a week ago. Yeah, you might want to sleep for days at a time. But a geek is far less shackled by something so silly as being sick.

Think about it – geeks thrive being able to access what they want, when they want. That includes being in bed with a thermometer in your mouth while sipping chicken soup. Laptops give you a computer to play with, and the joy of wireless gives you the Internet. Your mobile devices don’t care that you’re feeling like you want to put a spike through your head – in fact they’re made to be with you 24/7. That latest mod you want to make to your rig so that it glows green whenever you kill someone? Easily done from bedside.

In fact, if you get sick, and it’s a work day – all the more better to spend on your trivial technological pursuits that elevate your own sense of self-esteem. And with IM, you don’t have to spend your day as an anti-social hermit, downed with the plague while your friends are out making awkward passes at people they want to sleep with. Everyone wins!

So you see, the next time you feel that fever coming on, dance a jig, because you’re in for a real runny-nose filled, eye-watering treat. Just don’t forget to lay down afterwards.

So part of the reason things have been spotty this week for me, aside from the hours being eaten by yet another MMO, is the fact that I was away from my job to go to training.

Now, for those of you who don’t know, by trade I am fortunate enough to have landed a job which plays to my terribly obsessive geek nature. I work in IT and this week I was sent to a training session to fill gaps in my knowledge.

I do have to say, there are some interesting social archetypes that happen to be at geek training sessions. For one thing, the instructor. Somehow having overcome the stereotypical geek fear of speaking in public outside of a message board, the instructor for a technology class is always an interesting personality. Sure, they might jump around worse than a bunny on steroids and the sense of humor they exhibit is enough to drive you to alcoholism, but aside from that, they tend to be knowledgeable people. Usually older, which means they were dealing with the nuances of geek before it started to actually be mildly cool, an instructor for any training class will have at least one credential that makes them “outstanding” (my instructor’s was that he wrote almost all of a certification test for Cisco). And they’d of course have other credentials, such as being able to skip the tech support queue for their service provider, building their own cabling standard, or actually getting someone to marry them. It gives you hope for the future, that’s for sure.

Then there are the students. If you miss the days of high school and college where you’d get the usual types of people, then you’re in for a treat in a training class. The only difference is that the wonderful stereotypes you have come to now and love have morphed into adult versions of themselves. There’s the old-school guy who’s cutting a paycheck until he retires, the evolution of the quiet kid in class. There’s the guy dressed in the latest trends who doesn’t particularly have a clue about the subject matter but just wants to be “cool” and get a cert, the misguided, yet more technically savvy Jock. There’s obviously the people in the class who know the answer to every question and who thus spend every waking moment pointing out the ineptitude of your ability to learn, changed from high school’s egghead. And of course, there is the unbelieveably attractive person who gets an overwhelming amount of help while you struggle to get a question answered or a partner to help, and that’s…well, people that are Hot never really change, I’m sure.

So you see, geek training is a way for average folks like you and me to re-live the glory days of school, without the continuous stuffing into lockers or toilets, but with teh same kind of awkward behavior you get by taking a bunch of tech-savvy people and putting them outside their cubicles. Savor the experence when you get it – and if you don’t – at least you should be getting wireless access in class.

Tomorrow I run off to a wedding for one of my close friends. It’s not the first that I’ve been to in the past few years or so, but if you’ve been reading for some time, you probably have a smal idea of waht kind of friends I have.

Geeks getting married is great. The soon-to-be Mr. and Mrs. are both gaming junkies, sci-fi fans, and surprisingly socially adept. They both are quite computer literate – perhaps even better than the average bear – and they are, delightfully, interestedin as many gadgets and toys as the next techie.

Geeks are easy to shop for for weddings. I mean, all you have to do is either A)Give them something shiny and neat or B)Give them gift certificates to the nearest electronics store and they are as happy as clams. Sure, they might prioritize the placement of all their technology over getting household appliances, but hey, when was the last time a married couple used all of the appliances they got anyway?

A geeks’ wedding is almost always fun, too. The truly geek-worthy decide to make a memory of their special day (and perhaps make their parents put their heads in their hands) by coming in to Star Trek themes, being escorted by stormtroopers, or exchanging their vows while dressed up as their favorite superheroes. But even without such theatrics, geeks invite other geeks to a wedding, resulting in a veritable orgy of tech talk, cool “check-out-what-I-got” goodness, and best of all, anything and everything in real-time, digital format for the convenience of the happy couple. Flickr, Facebook, MySpace, and other such sites ensure that those unfortunate folks who don’t get to the wedding will see one half of the happy couple dance with two left feet to a song that doesn’t start with “A Long Time Ago in a Galaxy Far, Far Away…”

Most of all, geeks marrying geeks provides that one beacon of hope to all you single geek folks out there. It shows people that yes, even if you’re the biggest nerd shut-in with the social skills of a weasel on crack, that you might still have a miniscule chance of finding that special someone who will share your “Klingon nights” with excitement rather than fear and thinly veiled disgust. Heck, you might even be able to have an awkward moment at the wedding with someone equally uncomfortable to be dressed up in something that doesn’t involve armor, sword and a shield, or a wizard’s hat.

Ain’t geek love grand?