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February 7, 2012

Tag: games

August 19, 2009

Sith Strength and Ayane’s Sadness

by Frank — Categories: Gaming, Star Wars: The Old Republic — Tags: , , — 3 Comments
Chad Vader screenshot, episode 1.
Image via Wikipedia

…now with semi-witty alliteration, even! Aren’t I just clever.

So the big reveal from yesterday’s GamesCom foorage when it came to Star Wars: The Old Republic was Gamespot’s Q&A about the Sith Warrior class, the newest class to be revealed for the game. Modeled after Darth Vader, the Sith Warrior is supposed to be a front line, damage dealing monster, dishing out merciless bits of damage and Force Chokes for all. If you like to hurl yourself into the midst of combat and wave your sword in the air like you just don’t care, Sith Warriors just might be for you.

You’d think people would be heartened by such a description of a class as visceral as this one, but Ayane’s Moon Over Endor isn’t convinced. Knights of the Old Republic had a system in which the same pool of powers was used, but the choices determined a light or dark side character – one that, to Ayane, has been set aside in TOR. There’s also a disparity she points out between the Sith’s description as a brutal murderer and the game’s moral choice system, which will allow you to display mercy and compassion if you so choose. The interview seemed to have the opposite effect of hype on her, dampening her excitement for the game to the point where she’s considering not playing it. Oh noes!

Well, this is what Overly Positive is for, right? I have to say that it’s not like Ayane doesn’t have legitimate points and all. They’re fair considering Bioware‘s choice for the depiction of the Sith Warrior, which seems more like Episode III’s destructive Anakin Skywalker rather than the iconic, yet cold and calculating Darth Vader of Episodes IV – VI. But I do have to say that interviews, any of them, are meant in part to create buzz and excitement, not provide specific details. There are a couple of reveals on the nitty gritty in this interview, including the description of an Impale ability that sounds downright Mortal Kombat in its brutality, but honestly, not much else. This has been Bioware’s MO all along – reveal only a little bit, but only what you are comfortable talking about, saving the details for later. I wouldn’t come to such awful conclusions without at least seeing the Gameplay Demo video later this week.

There’s also a certain sense of needing to have a separation of Force abilities betwen light and dark side, too. If Star Wars showed us anything, it’s that good and evil are iconic, that they occupy specific, compartmentalized spaces. The Force, from a purely lore perspective, is like this – they’re two sides of the same coin, but very different, which means different abilities and style for each side. If the Sith are most certainly brutal, merciless, and evil – something which the trailer shows very well, then having abilities that match that only makes sense. From a practical MMO standpoint, there’s also something to be said about making classes unique and not mirrored (meaning the same abilities under different names for both sides). Considering what’s been shown to us so far, Bioware appears to have gone the “unique” class route, and that creates more diversity and choice. What will perhaps be clearly “you’re a Sith” versus “you’re a Jedi“, as you don’t have any grey area isn’t something that will hurt the game – it’ll probably help it a bit more.

And speaking of that diversity, the inclusion of the degree to which you serve the Empire as a Sith through the moral choice system is an interesting wrinkle in the story of the Sith Warrior. To be perfectly honest, games like The ForceUnleashed and Jedi Outcast have already explored a character who starts out in one area of loyalty but then makes moral choices putting them squarely into another by story’s end. Let’s not also forget the biggest example of a flip-flopper of Force affinity ever – Darth Vader himself. Considering the journey of Vader, giving the Sith a choice of being less brutal or completely merciless is nothing, really, and will only serve to give the player a less linear experience when exploring the Sith Warrior story.

Besides, if we are to assume the worst and that the Sith class is bland in its one-dimensional violence, that can only be a good thing for class diversity in the actual game. We already know that there are going to be a significant number of lightsaber wielders in TOR – and if the straightforward evil of the Sith Warrior seems boring, it’ll only serve to get players to choose another class with less iconic value but with more perceived variety (like the Bounty Hunter and his or her toys, for example).

So don’t be down, Ayane, and others who are feeling a bit put off by this Q&A. There’s method to the madness, reasons why these are good decisions, and most of all, specific detail to look forward to. We’re not there yet – so I hope you stick around a little longer to see where things go.

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August 17, 2009

Madden Madness

by Frank — Categories: Gaming, Social Geekery — Tags: , — 1 Comment
Madden NFL 99
Image via Wikipedia

Madden ’99? Yep, probably the last Madden I probably purchased…that is, until this weekend. I had a bevy of trade-in value from old, yet good, favorites, and outlets like Gamestop have a way of sweetening the pot somewhat (25% more of my trade in value if I put it towards Madden is nice).

Madden had literally hit stores only a day or so ago when I went to pick it up, and I do have to say, as a frequent gamer and visitor to these stores, the release of Madden carries with it a certain kind of insanity all its own. For one thing, there’s a curious cross-pollenation of sports fans and video gamers. There are folks who couldn’t tell the difference between Halo or Call of Duty, but know what Madden is. In stark contrast to this are the traditional gamers, who probably played on their DS at the last sporting event they went to.

You’d think such groups would come to some kind of fisticuffs in some kind of odd Madden Moment-like re-enaction of the 2008-2009 football season. But to be honest, the unification of these two groups for what has become an annual tradition of sports and geekdom is actually a good thing. There’s a lot of free publicity to be had for the very geeky art of video games when a Madden comes out, from football players coming out to share their Madden playstyle to ads for sporting events, and more.  It can’t be anything but good.

Me? I’m a gaming connoisseur – I like it all. As far as Madden and other sports games go, though, they’re a rare itch I tend to scratch when I want to make an attempt to simulate victory for Chicago sports teams that lately haven’t been able to get the job done. Ah, Cubs – you break my heart every year. I played Madden, and promptly lost to the Green Bay Packers 42-3, which basically means that my ability to play football games hasn’t changed since 1999. But me, and many other armchair quarterbacks are having a grand old time – and that’s the important thing.

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August 17, 2009

Case of the Mondays Cure – Heroes, Comics, and a Goldfish

by Frank — Categories: Case Of The Mondays Cure, Gaming, Internet, TV and Movies — Tags: , , — Leave a comment
sleepy sunday@Movie clip
Image by zonepress via Flickr

Another Monday, another depressed pet picture. But that’s perfectly fine – it’s why we’re here with some positively perky goodness, just for you. Here’s some great news from around the geek web:

Champions Online Goes Gold, Will Release On September 1st As Planned (via Massively): The superhero-based MMO has got a lot to be proud of – its open beta starts today, it has gone gold for retail release, and even better, it’s coming out on its original release date of September 1st after all. Be sure to pre-order or go through Fileplanet for your open beta key!

Over One Hundred Thousand Support LAN Play in Starcraft 2 (via The Escapist): Sure, most internet petitions die in a fire, but every so often one of them actually catches fire in a show of online support. The Starcraft 2 petition to put LAN play back into the game is one such endeavor, reaching over 100,000 signatures as of this writing. That’s a bit tough to dismiss as simply monkeys hitting refresh and signing over and over again. Not bad, internet.

Miyazaki’s Latest Endeavor Opens at #8 In The US (via Anime News Network): While anime has enjoyed an encroachment into popular culture, emerging from a niche it occupied not 6 years ago, rarely are there any metrics to prove this. Look no further than Hayao Miyazaki’s “Ponyo”, which opened at number eight in the box office this weekend. That’s not bad at all, considering the film has little to no marketing and is about a boy and his unusual goldfish friend. Way to go, Miyazaki! Now if you could only stop hating appearances in US conventions…

Wildstorm to Publish Modern Warfare 2 Comic (via Destructoid): Call of Duty and Modern Warfare have enjoyed pretty damn good success. How do you know you have one on your hands? Branch out into other media, of course. Wildstorm has apparently picked up the rights to ink out a Modern Warfare 2 comic book, so for those of you who are seeing yourself in that excellent slowsled scene from the demo at E3, this is just another way to get into the game.

And that would be that for this Monday. Summer is bleeding away, but there’s still hope out there, always.

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August 16, 2009

Aion’ing Out The Details

by Frank — Categories: Gaming — Tags: , , — 4 Comments
Aion Online
Image by Blkmask24 / Nighthawk24 via Flickr

This past weekend was the last closed beta weekend for upcoming fantasy-based MMO Aion, and due to the spidery tendrils I have in the gaming industry I was able to secure a closed beta key for myself and fire up the old NCSoft account to check it out. As I am wont to do with MMOs, I immediately drifted towards the support class, which for my faction was the Priest, and proceeded to get to around level 15.

There’s a lot of people hyped and high on Aion right now – in fact, there’s nowhere on the Internet I can turn without someone mentioning how great and wonderful and game-changing Aion is. As a perpetual optimist myself, I’m glad to see so many people interested in a single title. Buzz and anticipation are powerful things when casual consumers are looking to make a purchase, and Aion has that in spades right now.

Overall, I’m thinking that Aion has the great potential to have good legs for the industry as a whole, a good sign that competition is just going to make other developers and other games adjust to stay viable and appealing to their respective target audiences. The reason for this is not because of the style and prettiness of the game (of which the Crytek engine and a soundtrack worthy of being placed on a CD doesn’t hurt), or because of  the fact that you can fly (something that is nice with the appropriate limitations), or even the level progression story.

No, Aion is probably going to be around for a while because it’s like cement – practical, smooth, and over time, rock solid. Playing Aion, as I did over the weekend, I had only a single crash to desktop, little to no lag, and loading screens that did not allow me time to get up, go to the bathroom, make a microwave dinner, and do my dishes. Monsters did not teleport towards me, they actually walked, and the number of players hunting up newbie monsters never crippled my performance. So Aion’s vaunted stability, with the exception of a bug plaguing 32-bit clients and the game’s anti-cheat software, is well deserved.

Then there’s the gameplay. Aion’s got the basic moving parts and gears of your regular neighborhood MMO. It has quests, it has a ton of grind, it has a straightforward skills learning system, and it has specialization – for example, I could take the path of a Chanter, who had melee and buffing abilities, or one of Cleric, more of a pure healer type (I chose the latter). All the things that you’ve come to know and love (maybe love to hate) about MMOs are in Aion, even right down to the fact that Kobolds exist in some form as low level monsters. What Aion does, however, is polish these basic parts to a mirror shine that makes things smooth, easy to deal with, and relatively balanced. If you experience frustration with any part of Aion, it won’t be the things that make it ultimately serve as the bedrock of its design – which is the tried and true fantasy MMO formulae and elements. There are also unique and interesting things Aion adds to this foundation that make this stuff intriguing – for example, various cutscenes that draw you into the story, flowing animations for a variety of actions including for battle, and different instances of the same zone for stability.

You’d think that somewhat mundane things like server stability and basic questing and leveling are not items that are of great import to an MMO player. You might even think that on many levels, Aion is “more of the same”. You might just be right. But having the basics down is something that players have moved, in the last couple of years, from taking for granted to expecting to work. If you don’t have the stuff that should simply just work down pat, it’s going to be a hard sell down the line to make sure that the things that are more complex and unique in your design will be fixed in a timely manner. It’s a problem that has plagued a lot of recent MMO releases, but from all signs, will not be an issue with Aion.

In some respects, the comparison is almost unfair – Aion has actually already been out in the Eastern market (meaning Korea, China, and the like) for over a year, meaning they have a bit of a headstart on dealing with the pain of fixing basic issues Western players will never experience. But to be perfectly honest, them’s the breaks when it comes to the wild and crazy world of the MMO industry, where many players are tourists, and one MMO’s fortunate circumstances can lead to success. I enjoyed my brief time in Aion this weekend because it doesn’t try to wow you (at least directly) – it just simply works. That’s not a small thing, and one which will lead to better things down the horizon for NCSoft East’s latest entry into the MMO fray.

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August 16, 2009

Better Than Boba Fett – SWTOR’s Bounty

by Frank — Categories: Gaming, Star Wars: The Old Republic — Tags: , — Leave a comment
Archives: Boba Fett
Image by Official Star Wars Blog via Flickr

In the Star Wars films, poor bounty hunter Boba Fett was reduced in some ways to a random baddie that just happens to suffer an unfortunate fate for his amoral ways, but SWTORJunkies has something up on their site about how player-based bounty systems could give Boba Fett and all his faithful following a second lease on life in TOR.

Other games where bounty hunter systems have been considered are usually based on PvP. It’s sort of unclear what role PvP will have in Star Wars: The Old Republic, especially with Bioware pushing other elements of the gameplay and concepts as hard as they are, but with a dedicated class like the Bounty Hunter in the game, there might be ample opportunity to introduce such a system.

Details such as the Smuggler having unique mechanics may also fit the Bounty Hunter in terms of having any kind of Bounty system in-game. Whether it is for NPC’s or for player-characters, the Bounty Hunter could use economical skills unique to them in order to pursue bounties on others’ heads, creating a niche way for Bounty Hunters to earn cash for themselves. Alternatively, as part of an overall bounty hunter system, Bounty Hunters could be uniquely equipped with a set of tools that would make it much easier for them to track down a bounty than others in different classes – a way to put a locator on someone, or perhaps a way to provide a bonus for participating in a bounty hunt of any kind. These are the kinds of things that might make the Bounty Hunter class in and of themselves a bit more appealing to play, as a way to draw off the massive interest in ligthsabers and Force Choking.

Frankly, it’s great that the game’s focus on story will open the doors to using such mechanics such as a Bounty Hunting system in the game. Imagine that a player’s choices during the course of their TOR experience happen to put a price on their heads. As a tie-in to the story, Bounty Hunters could be a threat for other players to constantly watch their backs for. Bounty Hunters themselves will have their tales enhanced by completing various bounties, making friends and enemies along the way. The moral choice system as it has been presented so far will figure into any Bounty Hunting system, giving Bounty Hunters (and others if the system so includes them) the ability to make decisions about turning in bounties or taking a potentially more lucrative route by letting them go. There are literally dozens if not hundreds of possibilities.

With official info from Bioware taking a bit of a breather before GamesCom and PAX, threads like this one definitely generate a lot of fodder for discussion. Whether or not a bounty hunting system is put into place for TOR remains to be seen – but the pieces are certainly there to be more successful than Boba Fett.

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August 15, 2009

Why Worldwide Cataclysm Rocks

by Frank — Categories: Gaming — Tags: , , — Leave a comment
Armageddon album cover
Image via Wikipedia

So before I get started with today’s heaping helping of positive attitude, I have to say, hooray for being linked on Slashdot! Thanks random Slashdot poster, and thanks to my friend Aiiane for pointing it out to me.

So why does a potential worldwide disaster mean there are good things on the horizon? Well, with regards to our world, if you want to believe Hollywood it means Bruce Willis will be suiting up to save the world. Hey guys – he can still go, believe that. “We win Gracie” indeed.

But when it comes to MMOs, potentially ending the world is probably best because it makes everything new all over again. MMORPG.com has a link about how someone with loose lips at Blizzard Entertainment has leaked details about World of Warcraft’s new expansion, Cataclysm. Among the juicy bits is a bunch of re-imaginings of WoW’s “vanilla” content, resulting in new, revised bosses of old and dungeons that will be revamped to versions of themselves that will take into account everything that Blizzard has implemented and learned since the release of their first expansion, Burning Crusade.

For people like myself, who have fond memories of WoW’s 60-level content as it was prior to BC and beyond, like Molten Core, Onyxia, and even Blackrock Spire, this is great news. While you’ll probably never see me pick up the WoW needle ever again, this is definitely enough for people who have long since left to take another curious look at the game.

MMOs, to be honest, have a more difficult time recycling their content and creating replayability than other games. While downloadable content and new achievements for console games are an intensive endeavor, they are probably nothing compared to the balancing act that revising your own MMO content is. Still, there’s nothing like a worldwide wiping of the slate in order to make sweeping changes, so such a thing like this has probably been in the works for some time for Blizzard.

Though WoW’s numbers still make it the #1 MMO from a subscriber standpoint, it’s no secret that the many other entries into the genre are grabbing slices out of the WoW pie, putting chinks in its armor. As a way to extend the legs of the game, and also to create some nostalgia, they could do worse things. So be sure to check out the full details when they’re officially released – Blizzard’s certainly got some great plans in place for Blizzcon next week.

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August 14, 2009

SWTOR’s Gameplay-a-Ga-Ga

by Frank — Categories: Gaming, Star Wars: The Old Republic — Tags: , , — Leave a comment
English: Joystick elements:1. Stick; 2. Base; ...
Image via Wikipedia

So over at SWTORBlog.net is a post reporting on the community update that Bioware’s Sean Dahlberg has been teasing regarding the Gameplay Walkthrough Video, which will apparently be hitting the ‘Net sometime next week. So with a hard date in mind, there’s quite a bit of speculation about what exactly could appear in the walkthrough.

To be honest, I think everyone is looking for some level of detail no matter how miniscule at this point. With Bioware putting out little teases and glimpses here and there of their gameplay, they’ve done nothing but whet the appetite of people looking to see what the game is all about from a details perspective. Fortunately, next week, we’ll be getting at least an appetizer.

Frankly, I’m excited about seeing it, no matter how little detail we get. Things that I think we will probably see are a brief overview of the UI that we’ve gotten a chance to look at during some of the dev blogs, as well as the quest and choice mechanic that have been made much of in Bioware’s big story sell. We’ll probably see a typical leveling example, some ways that Bioware will mask the usual MMO grinding mechanics, and a couple of interesting and new surprises about how the gameplay is going to work. This will be the first real look, so there will be an overwhelming response involving the words “sexy”, “looks awesome”, and “I’m soooo pre-ordering, BETA CAN’T COME FAST ENOUGH”. In short, there’ll be a lot of googly-eyed fans.

Regardless, though, the video is going to generate more questions than it answers. There will be details that Bioware will leave out that players will pick up on, obsessing over until a Sean or someone else swoops in to clarify, and to be honest, that’s probably a good thing. Buzz and speculation at this stage of the game can only be helpful to TOR’s PR.

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August 14, 2009

Aion’s Overly Positive Attitude

by Frank — Categories: Gaming — Tags: , , — 4 Comments
AION en China
Image by mrind{@}flickr via Flickr

You know, every so often I come upon a developer quote that actually seems to outdo the clear and present mission of this site, that being to provide bright, sunny outlook on things even in the midst of nuclear fallout. When I see quotes like this I tend to nod my head in acknowledgment, because let’s face it – I’m just a small-time blogger struggling for readership scraps, while a developer has an instant audience of thousands, maybe even millions. That takes guts, yo.

So it was that when I read NCSoft’s bold declaration that upcoming MMO Aion would be second only to World of Warcraft in the US, I have to say, that’s putting it out there, for sure. Now, I haven’t written much about Aion. This is mostly because I can’t have too much of a good thing regarding certain NCSoft products, and by that, I mean easy targets and a seemingly neverending leveling treadmill to keep me occupied (thank you, Lineage 2). There is also the idea of liking wings and winged humans. Enough people are going ga-ga over Aion’s pretty character designs. I’d just be another starry-eyed voice in a sea of many.

But something like this, I can’t really ignore. NCSoft’s either not followed the trend of bold prediction followed by fall from grace for most MMO releases since WoW, or doesn’t care. Bringing in that crazy “logic” stuff, though, there might be method to the madness. The biggest reason would probably be the fact that Aion isn’t technically a new MMO – just a new MMO to the Western audience. It’s been out for over a year in the Eastern market, where the usual bugs, crashes, instabilities, and balance issues have been hashed out in an audience that is immensely more forgiving of the trials and tribulations of these games than we are. It’s also managed to pull off something that you thought might have been an oxymoron 2 years ago – merge amazingly good looks with concrete stability. By all reports, the engine and netcode of Aion is extremely smooth, with hardly any crashes or lag. This, combined with good looks you probably only see in one of those 90′s boy band videos, is a lethal, and effective, combination for casual and hardcore players alike.

There’s also the hard numbers. Apparently, Aion’s subscription numbers in the East are already extremely high, with a 450%+ profit for Q2 2009 already in the pockets of NCSoft East’s developers. As far as fantasy MMOs go, and in a market that offers hundreds of free-to-play alternatives along the same theme, that’s not bad. The community for Aion, both in the West and the East is currently growing at an astronomical rate, with new blogs and sites being created and visited every day. The hype train is in full steam for Aion, and it doesn’t look like it’s slowing down any time soon.

The MMO Love Affair looms large over a game like Aion, but there’s plenty of reasons to be optimistic. The MMO playerbase is much like the stock market – it’s as much about perception and psychology as it is about truth and fact. People currently perceive Aion to be the best thing since sliced bread, and that perception carries a lot of weight among people who don’t pay attention to the nitty-gritty and are simply looking for their monthly entertainment fix. So while it might seem like a bold statement made by NCSoft – well, it’s really just the optimistic outlook based upon some very real factors. Time will tell.

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August 13, 2009

The TOR Release Date Rollercoaster

by Frank — Categories: Gaming, Star Wars: The Old Republic — Tags: , , — 4 Comments
Son of Beast roller coaster at Paramount's Kin...
Image via Wikipedia

So I was totally late to the party where everyone was freaking out over news from some random French Star Wars site that Star Wars: The Old Republic would be coming out in October 2010. This was more than likely due to the fact that I was really busy paying a lot of attention to dying a lot in my current game of choice rather than worrying about when a game was going to be released.

Release date speculation is not unlike being thrown for a loop in your favorite roller coaster.  If you like having your stomach go ten different directions at once and feeling the thrill of the bleeding edge of humanity, look no further than talking about the release date for games that have months or even years to come out. There’s the rising loop of anticipation and the nugget of information dug up in some dark corner of the Net, quickly followed by a developer post that MIGHT be a confirmation of said date, setting of a flurry of blog posting, crazy chaos, and screaming people wondering if it’s too soon or too late. There’s the twists and turns of pre-release info and “state of the game” whispers if the game has been publicly betaed, not to mention all the loop-de-loops of backwards time calculations from forum’ers with too much time on their hands. Let’s not also forget the lurching right turn of a release date pushback, either.

You know, this is one of those times I’d like to be in the dark about this stuff. Release dates are fluid, and always have been for games, especially MMOs for which beta feedback, project management, and last minute changes in development systems are the frequent reasons for pushbacks, delays, and changes in when a game drops. There’s also the fact that TOR is, for all intents and purposes, in a bit of infancy with regards to its perceived development. The Bioware folks are being mum, at least for another week, on gameplay, and interviews consist of snippets of game detail buried under a massive hill of concepts, philosophy, and vision.

People don’t like the fact that there might not be as much definitive detail about the game, with the release date being the latest in a string of questions about the game’s development. But I can’t really sweat the small stuff. If they play their cards right, Bioware will release “when it’s ready” but not so long as to be “Duke Nukem Forever” ready. The slow, plodding, and cautious pace at which they are releasing information is sure to be just as glacial for the announcement of the release date, so I fill my head with all the ways I plan on being the world’s clumsiest Jedi or Sith, rather than with nervous release date speculation.

Don’t get me wrong – I like roller coasters. I think they’re fun. But I also like to choose when and where, and what kind of them I like to ride. The release date ride seems a bit too much dizzying to me, and I’d probably puke from sickness when the ride didn’t come to an end with the correct release date of the game. I dunno if I’m like Darth Hater and not bother posting about the release date – I chatter too much about things as it is not to talk about it. But I think I could do better reassuring people about the better potential parts of TOR, and talking about how awesome it will be to lightsaber something without hopefully lopping off my own hand.

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August 13, 2009

Overly Positive Thoughts: Revenge of the Noobs

by Frank — Categories: Gaming, Overly Positive Thoughts — Tags: — 1 Comment
Dave pwning his noob friends.
Image via Wikipedia

Today I’ve got a message of hope – as delivering hope and sunny optimism is a core function of this here blog – for all of you players out there of “New-Out-Of-Box” skill level. That’s right – it’s time to make the noobs feel better.

Are you the one who charges right ahead of your team in a team game and dies first because you think you can take 20 guys all by yourself? What about if you’re the one who picks up the flag and has less of a clue about where to go to cap it than a monkey on speed? Or maybe you’re the last guy alive and you just can’t remember that darned “disarm bomb” button even though a 5 year old would know it. Yep, you’re a noob.

It’s real easy to despair being called a noob, you know. After all, having to endure the slights and insults thrown around about you, your parents, and your current or future progeny is in and of itself a not-so-pleasant experience. Sure, you can always fall back on the whole “I have a life and you don’t” argument, but what if the person you launch that tried and true counter-volley at is actually a successful CEO with 3 kids and more cars than the Indy 500? Because everyone tells the truth on the Internet, you’d be totally screwed.

Some people like to struggle out of the noob label by simply getting better at a game. But finding out things like where on the map you’re supposed to go when you get started or worse yet, reading instructions or guides written by non-noobs takes effort and time – time better spent making half-hearted passes at people you’re attracted to at the bar. Besides, rolling your face across the keyboard as opposed to hitting the correct buttons in sequence is both stress-relieving and relaxing for your forehead.

Not to worry though – noobs by definition serve a valuable and meaningful function. For one thing, someone has to do it. I mean, it does kind of suck being the smallest insect at the bottom of the food chain, but you know what – without that insignificant bug with no ability to fend for itself, the whole ecosystem would fall apart. Such is the way it is with the serious business of online team games. If there wasn’t a noob, there wouldn’t be people to compare the lowest common denominator to. The highest of the high scores would become the standard, setting an unrealistic bar for those aspiring to be better. Mass chaos and flames would ensue.

Noobs provide entertainment value, too. If there wasn’t someone out there who blew themselves up with the murderball or a grenade that bounced back at their team, there would be less joy and Youtube videos out in the wild. If there wasn’t hilarious lol’s to be had at someone who plays Madden so badly they get sacked in their own endzone 4 times a quarter, people looking to relieve stress over losing a close game would resort to fits of rage and anguish over not being as  good as someone else. The laughing stock that noobs are often put into isn’t ab object of ridicule – it’s a service to others.

Lastly, there’s the educational aspect. If there wasn’t someone out there who made stupid mistakes like shooting their own teammates in the head with shotguns or wading into the enemy respawn zone in an effort to be Jean Claude Van Damme with a sword then no one would know what not to do. People would be left to fend for themselves from a learning perspective without obviously wrong things that noobs tend to do. Think about it guys and gals – who would Gallant be without Goofus? Who would Megatron be without Starscream? That’s right, nobody. The online world needs people who bungle their way through a game of Call of Duty or Halo, and that’s where noobs come in.

So hold your heads up high, noobs, and continue to be who you are – people that make me feel better about my 2 to 15 score because you scored 1 kill (yourself) and 30 deaths. I’ll be rooting for you.

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