350/365 – Meditation Games #350 – Memory Pain

Developer: onion

Launcher Quote: “Sometimes you spend time actively not thinking about them and just.. you sort of forget… there’s so much to do and it’s all immediate. But then you’re trying to find something and end up looking in some place you haven’t for a while and bam! it’s right there and suddenly you’re filled with emotions. You want to cry because it’s not fair you didn’t have a lot of time with them and they were an ocean away and couldn’t come visit you because of stupid reasons. Either way you want to cry.. Which is why you actively avoid it all usually. But you know, right after your mood drops real bad and you cry it out.. there’s a sort of calmness afterwards. Maybe you just get tired. It’s alright, sometimes you need to feel.”

The pain of losing someone or otherwise not having them in your life anymore is, I think, a bit of a dull pain that never really goes away. It’s something that can be, of course, moved on from, and is also something that tends to recede with time, but it’s never something that goes away if you ever have any care for the person in question. The thing with that kind of pain, a pain that we probably all feel or carry with us in our lives at some point or another, is that it can be triggered by any number of things that bring you reminders, memories, and then the pain itself out of hiding.

The exploration game that the developer provided here is something that takes the discovery of items in the house and turns it into a contextual pain of remembering someone that you’ve lost. You encounter something that reminds you of them and it gives you a bit of a blindsiding, sending you to a place that you thought you’d managed to overcome previously. The key thing, as I think the developer is trying to say here, is that you do need these moments when you get to them, no matter how painful they are, as they’re a means of coping. As you find one thing or another that reminds you of what you lost, you allow yourself to grieve rather than to internalize, to hurt rather than to push it down. It’s only through experiencing that hurt that you can ultimately put it away into the box that it jumped out of, and be able to move on. This is where friends and therapists help immensely in being able to get through that coping process – but the key is that the coping needs to happen, no matter how painful it might be. A somber, yet necessary message.

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