PETA Mama vs. the Evil Turkey Murderers

Whose cuisine will reign supreme?

Sounds like an idea for a a bizarro fanfic, or in the case of this, an odd video game with a PSA message that cuts to the bone – meatless, of course.

Sanya over at Eating Bees has linked over to the People’s Ethical Treatment of Animals’ annual attempt to dissuade us from enjoying that traditional turkey feast this Thanksgiving. This time around, they use the perpetually happy Cooking Mama character as a vehicle to deliver a game depicting, in rather graphic detail, tasks to prepare a turkey.

A lot of people want to just tear down PETA for this latest round of supposed insanity, but you know what? I want to thank them. Heck, I’m one of those people who couldn’t cook themselves out of a paper bag, so I’m really happy to see someone actually explain that no, I shouldn’t be cooking the turkey with the organs inside, I should rip them out of the body so I can fill it with that stuffing, well, “stuff” that makes it taste pretty good.

There’s a real challenge to the game – I mean, I have to endeavor to not be a saint and mercilessly cook the turkey, which, after all this talk about the good I’m doing in Fallout 3, is a real moral problem. I found myself struggling with the plucking of feathers and the cracking of eggs. I’m more than willing to attribute it to my shaking hands as I pondered the fate of my poor turkey friend.

Or maybe it was because I hadn’t had my nightly caffeine yet. Well, whatever.

Anyway, developer Majesco has already responded to this wonderful little parody, calling on Cooking Mama herself to state that she has plenty of vegetarian dishes in her newest game, and that even though she was brutally beating eggs during the press conference, that she supported humane treatment of animals. The irony! I almost had to put down the knife I was using to cut up my juicy, medium rare top sirloin steak to wipe a tear from my eye.

If you ever wondered about how to really get the job done with a turkey, look no further than the great tutorial PETA has put up. You’ll even get to see what a tofurkey is, which is terribly valuable as you’ll probably never get to put it near your meat-eating, carnivore-loving, bloody lips. Bonus!

I love the Internet age.