If there’s one thing that people tend to get all bent out of shape over, it has to be the fact that people just like to talk while they’re playing games. And by “talk”, I mean, tell you in so many words that you were summarily and soundly beaten. Of course, this may also be accompanied by any or all of the following – posts on the forums repeating what was said over the mic, screenshots of unfortunate things being done to your dead corpse, or depending on the death, being the laughing stock of the server.
Now this doesn’t really sound like a great situation, but hey, it’s not that bad. For one thing, you can take solace in the fact that while you actually might not be as good as someone else in a game, you might actually beat them “in real life”. Sure, you migh tbe toiling away at a salary that pays you half of what you are supposed to be given for twice as much work, but at least you might pull down a figure that Mr. I Fragged You After My McDonald’s Shift will probably never see. You might actually have the twitch skills of a turtle, but perhaps you may have at least twitched something of your preferred sexual preference that wasn’t paid for or downloaded. And of course, a basic understanding of personal hygeine is somewhat normal in the “real” world, but among gamers, you are a crystal clean, fresh-smelling beacon of wonder.
Speaking of the personal stuff, being talked down to in a game isn’t that bad, and it can’t actually hurt you physically, right? Let’s take stock of this stuff – you probably don’t have carpal tunnel from putting your hands on a keyboard and mouse all day, your eyesight is probably good enough that you don’t need glasses that could magnify better than a telescope from staring at a computer screen, and you probably have a diet that consists of the major food groups – the real ones, not pizza, ramen, energy drinks, and pie. You should be happy that you actually won’t be falling apart physically until you’re 60 years old or more, right? When you look at it that way, a few “god ur such a noob” posts don’t smart as badly.
And let’s not forget the best part of trash talking – anyone can do it. I mean, why walk away from something that is perfectly able to be done by anyone with an internet connection? Why not try to just 1-up your opponent with the best insult, seeing as humiliating your opponent to the point of not posting is a completely attainable goal and totally not pointless? Heck, you might get better at typing a really good trash talk post than you are at playing the game, and all it requires you to have is a realyl good grasp of the native language of your forums. I mean, given the usual content of “competitive” gaming’s true trash talkers, the fact that you can actually spell out whole words and use proper grammar puts you a leg up on your mouthy, yet communication-challenged competition.
So the next time someone wants to give you a shot of their crotch (either their in-game one or their real one) to show you “they’re the shit”, smile and nod, because you being high on life is certainly better than having the high score. Be sure to tell your quality competition – I’ms ure they’ll appreciate the perspective and stop verbally abusing you.
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