So I know that I make a lot of comments about all us geeks being shut-ins who like to hug their keyboard more than they would another human being. Not that there’s anything wrong with that – I mean, if you want to have a lovely anti-social lifetime behind a computer screen where you can get your social kicks telling someone they need to “learn2play”, then hey, more power to you. I’m not about trying to tell someone how to live their own sheltered, solitary, gaming achievement whore lives.
No, this post is about those of us who actually choose to go wandering around outside, in the big bad world of people, places, and things, where the resolution is turned up way high and you don’t get another life to start if you screw up your decisions. For those of you who are thinking of getting out and about for whatever reason (even if it’s because your computer needs to be repaired and your consoles are smoking from 14 hours of play a day), have I got some tips for you. I like going out – in fact, today I have a little date with a bunch of people to celebrate someone’s impending death of their single status. I’ve been there out in those scary places called “Restaurants”, “Bars”, and Tourist Traps, where people talk without the benefit of graphical smileys, notification sounds, and of course, blocking and ignoring.
Here’s some things to remember for all you socially challenged yet bar-curious geekfolks:
- Internet shorthand is a no-no: Look, I know it’s been a while since you didn’t type it, but it would most certianly be helpful for your ability to blend in if you didn’t actually say “lol” when someone says something funny. Besides, your non-geek friends will have no idea what you are doing when you say “OMFG”, or “LMAO”, and they will definitely look at you weird if you are trying to tilt your head sideways while smiling.
- Technology is only shiny: There’s no way that the non-geeks you talk to will have any idea what you are carrying with you unless it begins with a lowercase i, so to a lot of people, the really neat pda, USB stick, or pocket-size external hard drive with all your gaming “pwnage” vids on it means nothing. Don’t burden these folks – they won’t get it, so save sharing how you spend 20 hours a day for your online friends.
- Adapt only when necessary: There are certain times when you geeky folks are going to need to be quicker on your feet than during that totally awesome flag cap you got in TF2 the other night. However, you need to pick and choose your battles, my friends. There are times when it is good to look like you can hang (talking about sports – just remember, the Cubs lost, the Yankees and Red Sox won, and the Patriots totally blew it), and then there are times when it is bad (any form of dancing).
- Online lines do not work: Want to hook up with someone besides over MSN with your keyboards? Hey, go for it, just don’t make your first line “hi, a/s/l?”
Armed with these, you will most certainly survive any night out and will be back to blog about all the strangely dressed people doing body shots off of a bartender with no problems at all. Stay safe, and remember – there’s no logging out.