One thing I’ve always noticed that is a permanent fixture on Internet forums is the use of the timeworn soapbox to make a point. Soapboxes used to be around all the time, but now they are a rarity only seen in junkyards and screenshots like the one I have on the right. But on the Internet, the Soapbox still lives, and continues on much like a zombie in your favorite horror movie or one of those serial killers that just won’t die.
You can easily spot a Soapbox post. They start out with some grandiose statement, like “Cats – the most evil creature in the entire universe”. Then they launch into a paragraph of detail, describing the history and object of their lecture with all the drama of a theatre production of “The Iliad”. They flourish with broad sweeping statements and end with a witty saying that is meant to elicit oohs and ahs from the crowd.
Now I have a soft spot in my heart for soapbox posts. Where else are you going to get people who treat something seemingly insignificant to others with the utmost importance? I have to say that the soapboxers of the world certainly give love to some commonly neglected and random principles out there, such as how to sharpen your pencil the right way, the trials and tribulations of software piracy and freedom of information, and of course, everyone’s favorite topic and the thing that ALL soapboxers point to, The Decline of Western Civilization and Society as we Know it.
And let’s not forget a Soapbox post’s mission – to make a change in the paradigm of anonymous internet readers out there. Oh yes, they nobly set out on a mission greater than the monologue before Star Trek, War and Peace, or any other work of media that actually makes a great mission statement in the briefing we call life. With their multiple adjectives, their near-psychic predictions of what will happen if people don’t change their ways, and, of course, the altruism that is totally not self-serving and borne out of personal reasons, Soapboxers look to make you realize how dumb you really are. Yep, of course people will come to their senses and say “wow, that guy making the 12 paragraph thesis is right, I’m such an idiot!”. I’m sure their first reaction is not giong to immediately take a virtual dump all over the post and tell them how wrong they are.
So I say, let the Soapboxers change the world, even if that world just happens to be the fantasy one in their own brain where people listen to them. What would you do with all the Soapboxes if you didn’t?