So the latest, exciting news on the WAR front is the fact that the Non-Disclosure Agreement will be dead in a matter of hours, allowing many people who’ve had to have their lips zipped and their mouths shut to finally talk to everyone who wasn’t their friend or on their IM list. Yes, once again I’m going to invoke the cheesy Braveheart comparison and say that soon, the masses will know just what kind of freedom they’ve been clamoring for. Of course, that will get some people beheaded just like in the end of the movie, but who’s really counting?
Anyway, I’m really looking forward to this, and no, not because I’ve been in beta for over a year now. No, I’m excited because there are just going to be so many productive and awesome posts, threads, and news about this that I might burst with joy. Or is that a headache or migraine coming along? Ah well, no worries.
So now, hours from the floodgates, here are some really great predictions for the dropping of the WAR NDA:
I will be rich off of the words “WoW 2.0″: That is, if I had had the sense to somehow find a way to be paid 10 american cents whenever I heard the words. Boy, am I looking forward to this stuff despite that, because hey, why try to let a game stand on its own merits when you can try to point out what it rips off from other games that have ripped off other features? Never has a criticism such as this been so in-depth and all-encompassing. Exciting!
The game will fail and fall into the depths of MMO Hell: At least, according to at least hundreds of posters who will make the same kinds of predictions I’m making now. Hey guys, I know that we all can channel Nostradamus here, but heck, leave some room for me to make some wholly accurate and not at all assumptive predictions, will you? I mean, I’m certain that I’m going to find a post that starts with a dramatic, interest-inducing statement of “epic fail” and ends with “this game sucks” really extremely helpful and not at all biased. Sure, dying a ton of times or only playing 15 minutes in a fast-food society like ours might have been factors, but who’s really going to report boring factoids when you can go for popcorn worthy theatrics.
The game is perhaps better than sliced bread, the invention of fire, and quite possibly, sex: And I really only put “quite possibly” on there because hey, just because you probably haven’t ever had sex with someone doesn’t mean you can’t compare something to it, right? This is really the other end of the spectrum, but boy, if only the haters and these folks could realize they learned from the same Forum Drama 2.0 book, we’d have less of a battle on our hands. Anyway, I really look forward to all these extremely gushy posts about how the game could quite possibly rival the peak of ecstasy, even though there are some things omitted like game details, or mechanics, or that time you might have gotten stuck naked in the opposition’s capital city because of a teleport bug. God, that realistic stuff just gets in the way of the awesomeness aura, forget that.
Our eyes will be given sensory overload with a bevy of video footage: Oh man, I can’t wait to see all the videos that people have taken of their gameplay footage. Yep, nothing will rock so much as yet another video of “PvP” set to the likes of Linkin Park, Disturbed, or any other rock band that tends to scream their words. Or how about all the “epic” PvE videos consisting of a grand total of one shot that doesn’t go anywhere and shows nothing but spamming heal buttons, set to all that music by X-Ray Dog or Immediate Music that people certainly have not used over and over again. Certainly there’s no need for actual video editing or cutting, or music timing – not when you can crank out 15 videos of a 5 minute clip set to a looping top 40 song. I mean, quantity is king! And let’s not forget all the video feedback. Gosh, if you enjoy Youtube commenting you’re going to love some of these gems when they come out.
Forum moderators and administrators, along with some bloggers will suffer mental breakdown due to insanity: The only prediction that I can confidently say has already come true. The blogs I link to, not to mention myself, are perfect examples. Oh, how I love those masses – so cuddly…so chatty…so angry-mob-with-pitchforks-and-torches-that-would-burn-your-place-down-if-they-knew-your-address. Thank God for the anonymity of the Internet, where we can all certainly be assholes without any form of retribution.
Mark my words – this is all coming true. You’ll thank me when it does!