Mythic Producer Josh Drescher talked a bit today about fitting a bunch of junk into your little bags for a jaunt, pretty much calling out fellow employee Justin Webb for trying to cram everything into one carry-on bag for a trip to Germany’s Leipzig.
Now I’m not really sure what Justin is planning to do while at the convention, but you never really know – it’s entirely possible that a single bag can be filled by a geek in order to go to a gathering of other geeks. Times like these, we have to be thankful that the things that advance in technology actually are becoming smaller, and not the other way around. Can you imagine fitting a cellphone the size of a giant pizza into your carry-on?
I can’t really make a judgment either way whether or not Justin has the ability to stuff that bag silly. Granted, he has an advantage – he has a loving wife who can help. Women, and especially women geeks, somehow have this extradimensional power to put the necessities in purses – even things that aren’t really, as Justin says, “bits and bobs”.
Let’s take a look at the essential items any geek should take on their trip away from their precious, precious rig and Internet connection:
- The Mobile Status Symbol - You know all those crazy people who buy an SUV even though the only off-roading they are planning on doing is pulling out of their clean suburbanite street into the driveway? They’re not really interested in off-roading, just saying “hey, lookit me, I gots me a gas guzzler!”. Geeks are the same way. Every geek has one mobile device that they like to whip out oh-so-nonchalantly and look sophisticated and advanced. An iPhone fits the bill nicely. So does a really slick-looking PDA that isn’t a Blackberry (because the geek more than likely has set up Blackberries for a clueless CEOa nd wouldn’t be caught dead with one). The point? Flaunt the technology you have that no normal person could ever hope to understand beyond “ooh shiny.”
- The Computer – There’s no way a geek leaves home without some way to stay wired and feed their addiction to the OS of their choice. The funny thing is that we have this reverse Freudian thing where we like it small. The smaller, the better, the slimmer, the better. If you have an ultra-slim-light-featherweight computer with an 10 inch screen that you could break more easily than a pair of chopsticks, then you’re doing something right – and you’re saving space, too. Exceptions include geeks using largish computers to show off their latest 1080i render of a fan video of themselves killing the hardest boss in an RPG. See: Mobile Status Symbol.
- The Sunglasses – Because the resolution of “the real world” is honestly too much for your refresh rate.
- The Cool Quirky Thing – Every geek has something that they think is unique that they want to show to other geeks who might appreciate it. It might be a pen with light saber sounds. It might be the photocopied script of the latest Batman movie. Heck, it might even be the piece of lint off of Joss Whedon’s overcoat that he wore to the Serenity premiere. Either way, it’s cool, it’s needed, and it’s packed.
- The Games – Geeks get bored easily, and trust me, you wouldn’t like geeks when they’re bored. Time-wasting games that geeks can bury their noses in are a must for any trip. With their gaming console probably owned by someone who is local, portable devices like a PSP or a DS rule the day. Anything to conveniently avoid unnecessary social interaction.
- The Clothes – Geeks have three fashions – awake, asleep, and naked. Given the fact that they hopefully will not end up in naked mode at an inappropriate time, the only real difference between awake and asleep is which t-shirt, which unbuttoned or otherwise not-worn-in-the-intended way over shirt, and which pair of jeans or khaki shorts they choose to wear. At least 6 combinations can be had from three pairs of shirts and jeans, and you can count on a geek counting the clothes they are wearing as one combination. Still have space problems? Perpetuate the geek stereotype of being overweight by wearing multiple pairs of pants and shirts. Just hope you don’t get strip searched.
- The Boring Stuff – toothbrush, soap, towels, undergarments, passport, plane ticket, toiletries, usually stuffed or thrown carelessly into the bottom, top, or sides.
Given all this, is it entirely feasible for someone like Justin to fit the essentials in a carry-on? That depends on Justin, but I’d have to say, don’t be surprised if one carry-on can hold a world inside of it.