So thanks to Eating Bees, I have something that I just had to talk about today. New PSN game Fat Princess is taking a lot of heat because of the fact that some people think it makes fat people look bad. With the object of the Capture-The-Flag variant being to make it harder to score points by stuffing the Princess til she’s about to burst, portly people everywhere appear to be up in arms.
Honestly, I just have to see the good side in all of this. I mean, thank about it. Fatness is not demonized, but glorified in this game – the fatter the princess is, the harder she is to capture. If someone who’s a little weight-challenged has ever had to bear the pain of being picked last for Dodgeball because they provided a bigger, slower target, this is the game for them. Here, being fat is an asset, not a curse.
What about the fact that the game is ultra-realistic? So the game appears to teach people that if you eat a lot, you will indeed gain weight. This is amazing – I mean, it’s highly accurate. Surely no one can argue that the sheer accuracy of the portrayal of gaining weight after eating is valuable to our children, not harmful. It’s totally a lesson in saying that overstuffing yourself or your friends with too much food will ultimately make them harder to carry when they fall asleep after that 50th White Castle burger. It’s almost as if the people who should be protesting are not the obese, but the restaurants that ultimately feed them, for lessening their business of distributing delectable, unhealthy treats for all.
And really, let’s not forget the obvious game benefit. I mean, unless it was Jabba the Hutt, when was the last time a really fat person-thing-creature was the main focus of a video game. Be happy there’s a crack in that Lara Croft, Kasumi, and Rachel armor – first Fat Princess, next, the world.
Fat is Phat.