With this weekend being the geek orgy event that is Comic Con, I’m starting to see from my highly comfortable yet envious seat back here in the Midwest that there are a bunch of people who are first-time celebrities to Comic Con. Either they’ve become famous in the past year or so, or they’re heading to the event for the first time and are barely hiding their “deer in headlights” looks during their interviews. Well, it’s not like any of them will take the time to check out a random blog like this one, but for those people who just might mistype their domain search and somehow end up here, I’ve got a quick survival guide for you.
- Minimize Direct Contact – The geek or fanboy that comes to these conventions takes care of themselves slightly better than an elephant at a zoo, and they probably look like one too. Watch for the telltale signs that they are about to try to touch you – including uncontrollable slobbering, nervous tics, and complete lack of speaking ability when in front of you. If you don’t want to go back to your mansion with something worse than the plague, deny the handshake.
- Costumer Craziness – There will be costumers of every size, shape, and color at a typical con. Don’t worry – they mostly want attention on themselves and not you so you don’t have to worry about them fainting all over you and crimping that $5000 suit you’re wearing. Just be wary of the telltale signs that the screws are not quite tightened. Red flag – they’re costuming as you.
- Crowds Can be Dangerous – Don’t think that just because you’ve become the Internet’s darling over the past year that you don’t think the massive crowd won’t trample you at a moment’s notice to get to the free giveaway or contest at the booth behind you. You are away from your limo and your entourage, and while you can count on the con organizers to provide warm bodies to get smashed while you make your getaway, make no mistake about it – there are people everywhere. Hope you aren’t claustrophobic.
- Watch What’s in the Air – Because yes, that distinct odor is the smell of, literally, the “unwashed” masses.
Good luck this weekend, Comic Con virgin celebs! Don’t get scared off, and I hope we here at Overly Positive have given you the tools you need to survive to that next multi-billion dollar movie deal.