Cutting Class(es)

Original comic:

I gotta say, Penny Arcade really took a stride forward in relieving the aches and pains of many a Warhammer Online gamer a couple days ago. And to think, Candymancers could have brought joy and love to the Warhammer world for about 5 seconds before being brutally mutilated by swords, axes, and clubs. And that’s when their enemies would get their turn.

In some ways, I can understand if you really wanted to play that one class that got cut. If you were deadset on playing a smelly green orc with a giant blade that was uglier than the Elephant Man, I still think you should take heart, because your remaining choices for melee – a horridly mutated abomination only a mom could love and a hot chick that could cut you faster than you could your own wrists, aren’t that bad. You’ll still do lots of damage while cackling with glee. You’ll still probably be called overpowered by healers who only know how to mash the button to heal others and not themselves. And you’ll still get to run up and smash your fingers on a single key in a semblance of skill. It’s not that bad.

There were tank classes that got cut too. Sure, you might get a choice between being too short and too drunk or being too tall and too prissy, but if you do your job, no one’s going to give a crap. Your healers will thank you. Being broken up isn’t going to help – and who knows, the class that you were planning to play that got cut might just be replaced by a Chaos World Crusher at some point.

I mean, I’m gonna play one of those healer support classes, and you don’t see me getting all torn up. There would be a real rational way I’d respond if healer classes were being cut. I’d think of a real nice, measured response to write, and I’d slowly count to 10. I’d think about bunnies and skies and happy things like having a cold beer on a hot summer day.

Then I’d calmly crumple the response up and just fly to Mythic HQ to plead my case. I’d submit a little petition and I’d talk in hushed tones with the developers about how to fix the problem.

And that’s when I’d drop the molotov cocktails in the office.

See? It’s all in the communication.

One thought on “Cutting Class(es)”

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