Cosplay Care

Not the cheeseThose of you who have actually made the really awesome committment to, you know, not be an anti-social shutin and go outside once in a while must have an idea of what cosplay is. If you’ve ever been to one of those geek conventions out there where you actually meet all those truly obsessive people who post 1200 times a day on forums, you know it’s costuming by fans, for fans.

Sure, some of these cosplayers have more business filling a potato sack rather than a costume of someone 8 sizes smaller than them, but hey, you have to be positive and give them some props for being bold enough to dress for success. It’s good to know that there are some geekish folks out there who might actually be confident enough not to give a shit about the way they look. More power to you, hairy guy in schoolgirl outfit!

If you’ve ever felt the need to get more pictures with people in two days than you’ve had in a lifetime, and to be the darling of much entertainment over Flickr, then you’d better be prepared. We’re here to make sure that you’re completely prepared for the wholesome process of being stalked by creepy fanboys with cameras and grease for hair.

Don’t forget the following:

  • Attention-Getting Signage – Nothing says “attention” more than a sign. Make sure you use only black marker, write in all caps, and simulate the spelling of a 6-year old for maximum exposure. Don’t forget to throw in a buzzword like “hugz”, “kisses”, or a phrase like “I Lick Anyone Dressed Like a Ninja”
  • Unnecessarily Large Props – There’s no way you’re going to ever be able to get an actual weapon that looks like it could slice or blow up a city block. So the next best thing is to make it yourself. Make your character’s weapon of choice using PVC pipe, sheet metal, or, in a pinch, cardboard or even hotel room items. Be sure to wave it around to the point of knocking over small children and cart-pushing vendors, because safety is second to you looking like you could get in one good blow before being arrested.
  • Assets – You know, you might not have been dealt a good hand in the looks department, but this is all about working with what you have, right? Got hair longer than sin because you refuse to cut it? I hear there’s this “Sephiroth” guy you can be who somehow gets all the chicks despite having mommy issues. What about skin that hasn’t seen sun on it since your last grocery run for instant ramen and caffeine? Be someone moody, because teenagers like moody. Got a battleship for an ass? Shake that moneymaker by playing Jabba the Hutt or your favorite anime character before Jenny Craig. This is all about being adaptive, people.
  • Febreze – Because apparently showering is optional for some, and a little spritz will get you seemingly rosy fresh all day. Just don’t let anyone who talks to you get downwind of you.

Armed with this and many more “protips” you can find on communities of people who feed on the drama of living a fantasy as a game or anime character, you can’t lose! Now go out there, and make us proud by making as many “normal” people stare at you and shake their heads in disbelief as possible.

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