Home Theatre on a Budget

Schizophrenic emoOver the weekend, I did a little of what would be called “window shopping”. And by “window shopping”, I mean that thing you do occasionally where you drool over things you simply can’t afford and leave with a sense of longing. It’s like some relationships, only compressed into 5 minutes.

Anyway, I got to checking out this really sweet home theatre setup. It had everything – the chair, the tv, and of course, the movies. I started thinking that it’d be real nice if I could bring this stuff home, and then it hit me.

I actually have a home theatre already, and its name is Internet forums. Ok, so I’m missing the really comfy chair with 20 controls, and my computer screen is 5 times smaller than the projection screen. My audio consists of a three-unit speaker-sub setup I got 6 years ago, so I don’t have that either.

But at least I have the movies, and specifically, the drama.

Where else are you going to find a hotbed of drama than internet forums? You have stories from beginning to end, with a buildup, an eventual climax, and then the inevitable letdown and guilty feeling at the end. You’ve got people so invested emotionally in putting up posts about how they should have had that kill or how they feel about “the issues”. You’ve got tearjerkers that make people laugh or cry when someone decides to put up a particularly nasty wall of text. You’ve got visual media in the form of all those funny cat pictures, Picard facepalms, and other such Photoshopped-in-20-seconds media.

Hell, you’ve got people trying to ruin the movie for you, by interrupting with some comment that was unnecessary, being generally loud with caps-lock posts, or trying to spoil the experience by making some snappy one-line summary that’s funny for only 5 seconds. Talk about the “full theatre” experience. right?

A lot of people don’t like to read 27 pages of why someone cheated on someone’s girlfriend with their sister AND their brother, but man, I can’t get enough. There’s a reason these threads exist, and no, it’s not because there are people out there that honestly don’t need to take posts on internet forums seriously, or – gasp – go outside once in a while. They exist for the entertainment of those of us who can’t afford having huge multimedia entertainment systems or who are jaded about movie content.

So the next time you see someone type /popcorn into a good Internet forum drama thread, pop a bag in the microwave, crank your awfully uncomfortable and cheap office chair back as far as you can go, and sit back and watch the magic happen. I know I do.

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